There’s no one I can actually talk to but there is something I can write into. That was the whole idea of this blog…
people tend to think you don’t need them when you crumble, for you are always so strong! But the truth is we always need someone we can share our pains with, someone to cry with and just listen to our fears..it’s a human thing.
I’ve been in so much pain since I returned home and couldn’t find my mom at home with vague explanations of her whereabouts…I remembered being so scared out of my mind that I hopped into my friends car and senselessly checked everywhere for her, and after some hours, I stopped him in the middle of no where and just balled my eyes out…
I had thought I lost my Mother…I mean, she’s everything I’ve got, no matter how cheesy that sounds. And at that moment, it was like my foundation cracked and there was never going to be a tomorrow…ofcos, I have my father, but I don’t think I’m his priority, his other family is. And I do have family and close friends, but I’m only a number one priority to my mom…and that has branded my soul.
After long lonely clueless days, I finally found out the truth, she was imprisoned! That shattered me..
to know that a loved one has been in such situation and I was never there for them is the worst feeling to me..
The thing was that I had to take this whole baggage alone, people around me knew the situation but none has asked me how I’m really feeling, and that felt awful. But the truth is, there would be some days you are your only squad…not always would you have a friend or family…but you still have to keep on living and pushing through for yourself and those dreams planted in you…
You can’t airbrush reality…it is what it is!
A realization I came to through this huddle is that, no matter how close someone’s to your soul and heart..they are just a part of you, not all of you!
You are your own most important factor..
you should clean, heal, love and adore yourself inorder to practice the art of doing so to others….
And come rain, storm or sunshine….you alone would walk through the nightmares and dreams at night when everyone’s asleep. So, push up! Love up yourself and forgive your loved ones through their mistakes…
Am I still in pain after writing this? no! Do I feel better? yes! Why? Because I found a way I can ease out my pain and I did it..
As for my mom, She is currently going through some R&R and that is what I admire the most in that woman….nothing ever brings her vibe down! I might not always agree with her decisions but she’s allowed to make them and I’m allowed to live my life fully!
So, whatever it is you going through with family…never forget what they are; Family! Learn to forgive, protect, love and ride through the storm with them…they hurt us sometimes, lie to us, betray us, but in those moments…remember that they also loved, love and would love us through the days to come!
And with that….
Stay Beautiful! X.O.X.O Shazzles!